Middle-aged crisis in men - symptoms and ways to overcome
Middle-aged crisis in men: symptoms and ways to overcome it
From this article you will learn:
- What is a middle-aged crisis in men
- Why men have a midlife crisis
- What are the symptoms of a midlife crisis in men
- How to help a man who is experiencing a midlife crisis
What is a middle-aged crisis in men
According to statistics, a midlife crisis catches up with every second man who has crossed the thirty-year milestone. The bad news is that the problems associated with the crisis will be not only for the head of the family, but also for his household. A man may become irritable or even attempt to leave the family. You should not hope that your family is not in danger - regardless of the nature and material condition, a person is going through certain stages of development, and age-related crises are inevitable. It is in our power to prepare for the tipping point in advance in order to know how to help our partner overcome this condition, relieve the symptoms of a crisis of the age of men and survive it.
Many women tend to underestimate the stress that men experience in the middle of life, do not pay attention to dangerous symptoms. It seems to wives that the husband suffers from trifles. Although in fact, men have great psychological problems. It was during this period that the man, in his opinion, ceases to be a young carefree guy (even if he had lived 10 years in marriage before), and becomes an adult, serious and responsible. If the wife does not help calm down, does not support him, the husband, being in a depressed state, can “break firewood”. Often there are situations when a person begins to abuse alcohol, up to going into binges, finds himself another woman who understands him or closes in on himself, changes in relation to his relatives.
What is a midlife crisis? This is another age line that overtakes people who already have some "weight" in society - family, with an established circle of communication, formed professionally. In men, the crisis is more acute and has its own specific features.
At 30-40 years old people understand that half of their life has already been lived. A man begins to evaluate what he has achieved at this point. A closer look causes depression - it seems that the achievements are very modest. It seems that the car could be better, and the wife is more beautiful. I recall past mistakes, missed opportunities, which does not add optimism.
Another troubling symptom of a male age crisis is a serious reassessment of values. Dreams, the goals for which the man sought, no longer look as tempting as before. And what you want now is so unrealistic that it is not clear how to get it.
In addition, the man considers himself in his prime, he is sure that everything should turn out better for him than for young guys, whether it’s a sports training or a difficult professional question. When one of the younger employees bypasses an elderly person at work or plays in the hall, he reacts sharply negatively. Add to this a change in appearance - an emerging bald spot, a pair of gray hairs or wrinkles that are beginning to form, and the condition is close to depressive.
A middle-aged male crisis is caused by:
- searching for the meaning of life,
- revaluation of values,
- a decrease in motivation (both in work, in the family, and in general in life),
- stagnation in self-realization,
- routine and diminished job prospects,
- emotional burnout.
Symptoms of an age crisis in men
What are the manifestations of a midlife crisis? You can easily recognize the symptoms of a crisis in the age of men - first of all, by radically changed behavior. There are several signs, the combination of which signals a turning point in life. The intensity of the manifestation of each of them can be different.
The main signs of the crisis:
- A depressed emotional state, called “depression” at a household level, and a bad mood. This is expressed in loss of appetite, sleep disorders, loss of interest in work or family.
- Self-pity. An unusually painful reaction to criticism or even minor jokes. It would seem innocent phrases, and a middle-aged man is offended, takes on his own account and is upset.
- Craving for thrills, adventure search. A man is looking for adrenaline - he is suddenly fond of extreme sports or commits rash acts, for example, buys a new car. Another variant of the same symptom of the crisis is the age of men: a person moves away from the family and spends much more than before, time in a bar with friends or even alone.
- Attempts to dramatically change your life. For example, a job change for no apparent reason and with external stability. Many people change their priorities, fundamental judgments, but there may be a desire to change jobs - just a symptom of a crisis in the age of men.
- The manifestation of anger, irritability. A dangerous symptom that causes a lot of trouble. Some young people tend to blame others - wives, bosses, colleagues, children, for their problems. Dissatisfaction, anger, aggression is difficult to disguise, and before a peaceful person quarrels with everyone.
- Doubts about the right choice of a wife. Despite the fact that by the middle of life, the couple have lived together for more than one year, it was during this period that some of them began to doubt that they had made the right choice at the time. During the age crisis, married people have thoughts that the current marriage is one of the mistakes of youth that needs to be fixed. It is advisable for wives to remain calm when they hear such statements — after all, such an opinion can only be a reflection of a sick state of a man, a symptom of an age crisis.
Another symptom of a middle-aged crisis in men is an increased interest in their own health, the appearance of numerous diseases, pathologies, including fictitious ones. Shortness of breath, blurred vision, increased pressure, poor erection, or decreased potency may well occur “out of the blue”. It is necessary to pay attention if the husband often complained of well-being and talk about his deterioration.
It is also time to be alarmed if a man has often visited doctors, has started taking dietary supplements, vitamins, and tablets. This becomes a symptom if, until now, a man has not taken care of his health. The wife is wary and when her husband begins to pay a lot of attention to his appearance. For example, often and for a long time go to the gym, training like you never practiced in youth. And some men are trying to maintain their youth by resorting to the services of surgeons, cosmetologists, and this point is also undesirable to lose sight of.
What to prepare for if a man has a midlife crisis
- In general, men agree that the general meaning of human existence is in love. But when it comes to their own lives, the importance of love is greatly reduced. Two and a half times fewer men than women consider love to be the meaning of their life.
- Men who celebrated their thirtieth birthday begin to decline in sexual activity, while their peers still haven't. This traumatic psyche symptom affects mood.
- Most men are confident that their fate does not depend on whether they found the meaning of life or not.
- Scientists have proved that men see the goals and meaning of their life not in what their “halves” see. Moreover, men are much less likely to determine this meaning for themselves. And if they do, then in most cases they are achievements.
Summing up, we can say that the midlife crisis is directly related to the search for the meaning of life. A representative of a strong half of humanity evaluates existing achievements and finds new benchmarks for himself. The good news is that the shake that a person receives as a result of the crisis mobilizes and gives strength. The main thing is to survive this turning point. And you can help your loved one with this.
Recommended articles on this topic:
How to help a loved one if a middle-aged crisis is "diagnosed"
How to help overcome the midlife crisis? How to remove the above symptoms of a crisis of age of men? The easiest way to survive the transition period, changing the situation. Perhaps a trip to the sea or out of town, a vacation in a secluded village will cheer up a person. By the way, having a rest, and getting rid of the blues, it will be easier to deal with work. If a man wants to change his occupation, then after a vacation it will be clear whether this desire is caused by fatigue, or is it really time to change the profession.
Look for hobbies, exciting activities in your free time. A busy person will have no time to feel sorry for himself, to be sad about the spent years of his life.
Married men need to be reminded that their apathy will affect households. The head of the family cannot fail his wife and children even in the most difficult moments. Responsibility for the family will not let you lose heart.
Surely in the past, your man has achievements that he could be proud of. Moreover, these happy moments are unique and inimitable. It is unlikely that there will be someone else who has the same number of victories. It is necessary from time to time to recall past successes. But psychologists advise not to abuse the memories and not try to look into the future. Especially in the pessimistic version of the upcoming events. To stay in a stable state, psychologists advise to live today, to be mentally "here and now."
Tips for wives whose husbands show all the symptoms of a midlife crisis:
- Show patience and tact. Keep away from advice, let the husband think about all his problems.
- Be prepared for the fact that the crisis will last more than one day.
- Do not assume that you are somehow to blame for the spouse's crisis. This is a normal process that almost everyone goes through. You just need to notice the symptoms and wait.
- Give your husband the opportunity to be alone with yourself, do not require him to pay increased attention during this period.
- Do not take your husband’s unflattering remarks about you to your heart, be prepared for his indifference, as well as rudeness, aggression, regard it as symptoms of the disease.
- Be as loving as before, treat him with understanding and warmth. Let the husband know that, despite his apathy, you support him.
- Hide your weakness, powerlessness. Let the husband see that your personal life has not changed, it is still harmonious.
The spouses will have to overcome the middle-aged crisis of a man together. And depending on how the wife behaves, how she will respond to symptoms, the husband’s mood, the duration of the crisis may change. The intimate sphere is an essential part of family life. And in a stressful situation, it is necessary to maintain the quality of the sexual life, even if its volume decreases. If the husband is experiencing a decline in sexual opportunities, let him know that you enjoy the pleasure of spending time together, regardless of the amount of sex.
On how to solve problems in a relationship, see the video of Yaroslav Samoilov:
What can not be done if a man has a midlife crisis
- Avoid the problem, pretend that it does not exist. We can overcome the crisis, and at least try to get out of it with dignity, without loss. It makes no sense to drown out experiences with the help of computer games, alcohol or drugs - this will only add problems and exacerbate the current situation.
- Do not Cry. At least in the presence of her husband. Keep calm and carefree, pretend that you are doing well.
- Do not require your spouse to behave as before, before the crisis. Moreover, do not try to influence him with the threat of divorce. It is possible that if you offer to get a divorce, then the husband will agree to this, having heard in your words confirmation of his thoughts.
- Do not blame yourself for the situation. Even if your loved one accuses you, do not take his accusations to heart, perhaps you are dealing with one of the symptoms of a middle-aged crisis in a man.
A loving wife can very well help her husband survive the midlife crisis, get out of it with minimal loss. With the psychological support of a woman, a difficult period in a man’s life will be shorter and less painful. Remember that our life is too short to spend it on apathy and quarrels with loved ones.
TOP 5 books to help a man survive a midlife crisis
“Having passed the earthly life to half, I found myself in a gloomy forest ...” - these lines of Dante’s Divine Comedy characterize the condition of a man in the middle age crisis in the best possible way. There are many books in world literature whose heroes have certain symptoms of a crisis. Encourage your loved one to read some of them.
- Michelle Welbeck “Opportunity Island”
The novel “Opportunity of the island” is about love. However, talking about show business, totalitarian sects and life in the distant future, the author explores the topics of eternal life, reincarnation, cloning, reflects on the state of modern minds.
In his characteristic ironic manner, the French writer tells fascinating stories. In the center of the story is Daniel, an aged man, entertainer, comedian, successfully performing sketches, and then successfully making porn films. The hero is experiencing a crisis of age in men. Symptoms of his crisis are cynicism, apathy, satiety. Ironically, the hero of the novel is in love with a girl who is almost twice his age. Daniel creates his clones devoid of human passions that live after the apocalypse.
- Jonathan Coe “Maxwell Sim's Incredible Privacy”
Maxwell Sim, the hero of the novel by a modern English writer, is an ordinary, if not boring, person, a typical British and our contemporary. The man has been suffering from depression for six months after a divorced czar and separation from his daughter. Trying to get a new job (he has lost interest in his current one), Maxwell goes on a promotional trip. Meeting with a stranger at the airport starts a chain of events and meetings - the hero visits his father, whose connection is lost, a childhood friend. The reader will find a fascinating story about an attempt to overcome the crisis and an unexpected ending.
- Douglas Copeland Life After God
The hero of the novel Life After God travels to a small town north of Vancouver. And along the way - reflects, reflects on life. It seems to him that all around live a real life, and he only procrastinates. It is not difficult for the reader to recognize the hero’s midlife crisis, the characteristic symptoms of an age crisis. It is more interesting to follow the author’s arguments, plunging into this one of the most humane modern novels.
The hero of the novel “Something happened” to Robert Slocum - over forty. He has three children (one of them is mentally retarded), a wife who abuses alcohol. Despite the fact that Robert Slokum works in a successful company and has lovers, he feels unhappy, experiences apathy. The problem is that nothing happened. The hero sums up his life and realizes that he was chasing chimeras.
The novel is built in the form of a monologue of the hero. The symptoms of a middle-aged crisis of a man are described so realistically, so recognizable in the hero as an ordinary person, that the novel seems modern, although it was written in 1974. Pessimistic, according to Kurt Vonnegut, the book, and nowadays causes a response from readers.
A club that can never be talked about as a cure for insomnia, irritability, cravings for destruction, mental illness.
The hero of the cult novel goes from group therapy of deadly diseases to the explosion of an office building, through participation in merciless fights in an underground club. On this self-destructive dangerous path, the hero meets a much bolder and desperate reckless bully - Tyler Darden. The narrator follows the newfound comrade. The dangerous peak, which the hero and his crazy alter ego Tyler will enter, will reveal the true essence of the character, show the way of thinking of a person, the symptoms of a middle-aged man’s crisis.
Thank you for reading this article to the end.
Hi, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relations and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy halves, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of a divorce.
More than anything else, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.
My goal is to show women this way of developing relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!
Causes of Midlife Crisis
Why is there a midlife crisis? The concept itself carries a hint of negativism, but any crisis, if we speak of it in a positive sense, carries an important function of revising its life history. Women experience such a period less painfully than men, this is due to the fact that women often emotional, and men keep everything in themselves. This is one of the reasons when dissatisfaction and dissatisfaction accumulate. Everything is individual, but there are common reasons for everyone why a middle-aged crisis develops among established men:
- old meanings lose their significance and cease to work, and new ones are not yet acquired,
- lack of self-fulfillment, achieved a “ceiling” in the career, and there is no possibility for further growth,
- the profession is no longer satisfying,
- unrealized plans and ideas come to mind, for example, in connection with the marriage and birth of children, when you had to sacrifice your ambitions, vague doubts arise about the correctness of the choice,
- married life is no longer satisfying,
- physiological changes - functional disorders of libido,
- the impending feeling of old age and the transience of life puts pressure on the psyche and causes a host of unpleasant thoughts leading to depression and crisis.
Midlife Crisis - Period
Middle-aged male crisis - both successful ones who realized themselves in the life of an individual, and those who were half afraid of using their chances, were unsure of their abilities, are exposed to it. The human psyche itself is designed to succumb to self-reflection at certain periods of life. A middle-aged crisis in men is a condition with which you can and should work, and with the right psychological approach, a man acquires new meanings and a desire to develop further.
How long does a middle-aged crisis in men last?
When a middle-aged crisis in men ends, it is difficult to answer this question unequivocally, because each person is unique, with his own worldview and understanding or misunderstanding of what is happening to him. This period can last from several months or take years, either calming down or now gaining momentum in times of difficult life choices. The age when a middle-aged crisis in men makes itself felt varies from 35 (first bells) to 50 years, when a man gradually begins to accept his age, his life, and calms down.
How is a midlife crisis in men?
Diagnosis of the condition does not present any difficulties, all the signs are there. Middle-aged crisis in men characteristic symptoms:
- Behavior changes dramatically, if before a man was an “incorrigible” optimist, today he is dull, with a gloomy or regrettable expression on his face, which may make him look older.
- It can be exactly the opposite, when a calm, even phlegmatic man becomes a joker and a sort of merry fellow, the soul of the company.
- Work ceases to bring satisfaction, and the man literally "drags" himself to work.
- There are strange pain symptoms in the body, he begins to think that something is terminally ill.
- Potency decreases.
- Increases irritation and dissatisfaction with others and oneself.
- If a man is married, then the wife fully feels all the “charms” of her husband’s crisis, begins to criticize her appearance, that she began to cook tastelessly, got fat, says a lot of offensive words.
- The decline in mental and physical strength and reliance on the will does not help, there is no motivation.
- “A gray hair in the head - a demon in the ribs” - a well-known saying says colorfully about the crisis. The man, feeling that life is gradually leaving, is trying to realize himself through numerous love affairs, proving to himself that he is still “wow!”
Midlife crisis stages
A close and dear person, with whom important periods of life are connected, suddenly becomes different, incomprehensible, alienated. If it’s easier for a woman to cope with this, then this personality process delays a man for a long time, sometimes with irreversible moments that pose a threat to the existing family. The husband has a midlife crisis - in order to understand what he is going through, a woman needs to know that there are several successive stages of the crisis unfolding.
Signs of a midlife crisis at the stage of anger:
- constantly breaks down
- squandering - begins to spend the accumulated money, makes unplanned purchases, may suddenly decide to start repairs (aggression and irritability sometimes find a way in this expression),
- may start drinking or become addicted to smoking, even if there was no addiction before,
- a man provokes loved ones to quarrels.
Midlife crisis - reclusive stage
The stage of seclusion in a middle-aged crisis, “a wife is very annoying,” is a common problem faced by men who have been married for a long time. Retreat is a stage characterized by the fact that a man needs solitude in order to rethink everything, and a close person (wife) with his anxiety and care is a strong irritant for a man.
Middle-aged crisis in mature men at the stage of seclusion - signs:
- he avoids meeting friends
- becomes quiet and laconic, and when you try to bring him into conversation, he gets annoyed or closes himself even more,
- can start drinking alone
- depressive thoughts join
- a man is engaged in digging himself and trying to find a new meaning, sometimes he pities himself.
The terminal stage of the midlife crisis
In an existential sense, every significant age crisis should end with the "dying" of the previous personality or transformation - as it was before, will no longer be. It is important to understand that the middle-aged crisis in men can be a new stage in the development of it as a person, but it all depends on how the man himself survives, rethought himself. The terminal stage does not mean death in the truest sense of the word, but the former personality is greatly transformed.
Midlife crisis - symptoms at this stage:
- a man can hit “all serious”, and there is a danger of distortions when they change: work, wife, place of residence, circle of friends and hobbies,
- externally, a man looks and behaves like an enthusiastic 360-degree change his life,
- he begins to allow himself everything that he has been deprived of all these years,
- pays special attention to his appearance and health, undergoes all kinds of examinations, is recorded in the gym.
Midlife crisis - acceptance phase
A strong, mature personality differs from an immature one in that responsibility is taken for everything that happens in life, and even for a condition. At the adoption stage, the man understands that this is his life and it is up to him to decide how to live on - regretting the missed opportunities or realizing what he can still do and achieve impressive results. Some decide to just live and enjoy is also a position.
Midlife crisis - signs that a man is in the adoption stage:
- he calms down
- emotional swings are not as powerful as they were before
- becomes wiser in those issues that previously caused non-reconciliation and a storm of protest,
- there is a kind of insight into your previous wrongness in relation to yourself and your relatives, sometimes there is a feeling of guilt and a desire to make amends for it,
- rarely, “throwing back” to the stage of anger or depression can occur, but it’s like fading embers, they do not bring the destructive power that a raging fire will disappear over time.
Overcoming Midlife Crisis
Middle-aged crisis in men, how to survive it painlessly - this issue is relevant for both men themselves and their precious halves, if a man is married, because loved ones suffer from the crisis no less. Psychologists' recommendations on how to overcome a midlife crisis in men:
- Doing sports. Sports, this is a proven fact, increase the level of neurotransmitters, or pleasure hormones responsible for a good mood, but here the measure is important, and you should start with small loads. Many men say that 20-30 minutes of morning or evening run return to a person clarity of thoughts and a desire to act, rather than vegetate in depression. Worth trying.
- Acceptance of yourself and your actions, no matter how ugly and they did not seem. Each person has bright and shadow sides, no one is immune from mistakes.
- Change of profession. Why not? There is a stereotype that a person in middle age can no longer achieve the skill that he acquired from his youth, but this is not so - perhaps it is time to develop his abilities inherent in nature, and when you like it, and development is many times faster.
- Work with the fear of death. Awareness of their mortality helps with respect and joy to look at every day lived and the desire to do good things.
- Look at your soulmate with different eyes. This will help to see the value of the relationship, that all these years she was support, gave birth to children, cared, worried.
- Travels. Though not far and not for long, but a change of impressions updates the psyche and gives rise to a craving for communication with new people.
The effects of the midlife crisis
In a midlife crisis, divorce from the other half is a frequent occurrence in the male environment, another question is that, according to statistics, more than half of men later regret such a radical decision, and there are frequent cases when a couple re-registers their marriage. What else could be the consequences:
- care for all sorts of addictions,
- the emergence of a second family - a man lives in two houses,
- neurosis development
- deterioration of health due to age and nervous shocks - during periods of crisis there are often outbreaks of strokes and heart attacks,
- if a man has a suicidal tendency, then a midlife crisis can lead to suicide,
- there can also be good consequences when a man through the crisis finds himself and looks with optimism into the future, masters additional professions, decides to marry and have children, if before that he was an inveterate bachelor.
The concept of midlife crisis
It is believed that it is harder for a man to cope with a midlife crisis, since by a certain stage the society begins to demand substantial achievements and successes from him. Or he is convinced that this is required of him.
After analyzing their own results, men often come to the conclusion that they “didn’t do it” somewhere, missed a chance. They are no longer satisfied with the existing way of life, and, driven by the goal of “replaying everything,” they begin to make unpredictable actions. Their ideas about their own personality and about people nearby are changing.
Fully aware of the transience of life, a man begins to rush to different extremes. Someone decides to divorce, believing that with another companion, life seems to begin anew. Someone is experiencing a series of nervous breakdowns. Others are desperately trying to keep their youth, being carried away by youth hobbies and modernizing their appearance almost beyond recognition. Not only the man himself, but also close people usually suffer from these abrupt changes.
The crisis is especially acute if there are no opportunities for career growth and changes that are possible only with significant cash injections. Life begins to seem empty and unnecessary. The feeling of internal panic is growing more and more tangible.
What happens to a man?
In this period, fantasies and old dreams seem much more attractive than reality. The man believes that he seems to be doing everything right, but wonders: how did it happen that he gradually turned into an ordinary middle-aged man? Sometimes his value system changes, and he rebels against the old rules, which, as it seems to him, limit him.
A crisis is especially likely if there are no opportunities for growth or change in a man’s life. He begins to doubt whether his own way of life and the image that he created for himself are satisfied with him and to think: is he in his place? Life seems empty or fake.
When a man commits (or is almost ready to commit) rash, radical actions, it can be said that the usual internal conflict and reappraisal of values that are characteristic of the middle of life turned into a crisis.
As a result, some men start romance on the side, abandon the family, start drinking more, become irresponsible or take a meaningless and unjustified risk.
When it seems that there is no way out, the crisis forces something to change. The result can be both positive (personal growth) and destructive.
The age period of the middle-aged crisis in men is 40-45 years. Psychologists note that in recent years he has come earlier and can descend from the age of 35. This crisis period is the most significant and dramatic in human life. The adult man who has taken place abruptly leaves his job and goes to the "free artists". A graying, prosperous family man divorces his wife. A cheerful man becomes depressed and drowns out bad thoughts with alcohol. After 40 years, a midlife crisis pushes him into illogical, impulsive actions. The men around him are not able to understand these emotional impulses. Sometimes he does not understand himself.
At 30-35 years old
- He is often in a bad mood. He either is silent, or communicates without much hunting.
- Bursts of unmotivated aggression occur, mood changes in radical directions. Often frustrates anger in the family.
- Often has a tired look.
- Restless sleep.
- There is a desire to change the wardrobe.
The body is aging: gray hair appears on the temples, the hair is not so thick, bald patches are outlined. The skin also loses elasticity. In movements and actions there is no longer the same speed as in 20-25 years. Sins of youth make themselves felt - frequent parties with rivers of alcohol, smoked packs of cigarettes (and not only with tobacco). Shortness of breath, tingling in the heart. Fanatical hobby for sports reminds of itself pains in joints.
At the same time, in his mind, a man still perceives himself as a 20-year-old young man, ready for feats. It is difficult for him to take his new, weaker physical form. More difficult than others, these transformations are experienced by men who are dependent on female attention: “I am becoming an old man! Young girls will no longer be interested in me. ” For them, this is a disaster, the loss of the meaning of life.
How to recognize a crisis?
The surest sign is a feeling of being driven into a corner and a desire to break out, turning life upside down. Usually a man realizes that he is in a crisis when reality comes into conflict with his "antics."
Here are some more signs of a midlife crisis:
- withdrawal, the desire for rebellion, as in adolescents,
- increased interest in the external image, fantasizing, the search for thrills, the desire for risk,
- tendency to flirt, attempts to have a romance,
- the feeling that life has ceased to suit, the temptation to commit something unusual or radical, to arrange some kind of "trick".
The little man obediently trusts his parents. He is sure: in order to achieve happiness, you must first study at five. Then go to university, find a well-paid job. Then marry a decent woman, raise children. And this all came true. Everything turned out "like a normal person", but does not bring feelings of satisfaction. He worked for the good of the future all his life, forgot about his own interests. He put off rest and hobbies. And the long-awaited happiness should come. And for some reason does not come. As a rule, a nagging sense of anxiety precedes this conclusion. Dissatisfaction with life, a vague desire to add color to a fresh existence. Women notice that in a midlife crisis, a husband has an obsessive desire to fulfill teenage dreams. Skate, pierce your ear, get a tattoo (first in life).
At 35-40 years old
- First of all, the midlife crisis is manifested by a clear dissatisfaction with their own appearance. A man begins to react sharply to the appearance of gray hair, signs of baldness or wrinkles. In order to feel attractive, it is important for him to improve his appearance, and he goes for measures previously atypical for himself.
- He thinks a lot about his health, sexual abilities. Wanting to regain her former strength, she begins to pay attention to suspicious drugs that promise incredible opportunities.
- One of the strokes of a crisis in men can be isolation. This is especially noticeable when it comes to previously sociable personality.
- He experiences worries about the future; it seems to him hopeless and bleak.
When men have a midlife crisis, they experience the male version of menopause. Their hormonal system begins to work differently. In particular, the amount of testosterone is sharply reduced. Especially in men who drink a lot, smoke, move little. It is this male hormone that is responsible for secondary sexual characteristics:
- Hair growth and quality
- Body fat distribution,
- Potency and libido.
Hence the problems with sexual life (one doesn’t want it, it can’t), rare or almost completely lost hair, excess weight, a “beer” belly, almost female breasts.
Gradually, the husband from a “strong male shoulder” turns into an infantile forty-year-old. Not everyone is destined to survive this period in peace and harmony. Symptoms of a midlife crisis in men:
- Pitying himself. It seems to him that he is underestimated at work, do not cherish the house.
- It becomes irritable. There are outbreaks of anger, unexpected for others.
- Frequent quarrels with others, both colleagues and family. The conflict arises from scratch. The outburst of anger goes out as unexpectedly as it began.
- Nostalgia. Constantly delving into the past. Recalls the old days, youth.
- Weakness and lack of interest in life. Stop taking family affairs. Work is not fun.
- A keen attention to their own appearance. Attempts to rejuvenate. Perhaps the use of cosmetics, hair coloring. A man who is not characteristic of this, buys a subscription to the gym, follows a diet. There is a desire to change the wardrobe.
- There is no sexual attraction to a permanent woman. He draws attention to girls much younger than themselves. Perhaps the emergence of a young lover.
Doctors have found an explanation for this condition from a physiological point of view. After 40 years, men have a decrease in the number of male hormones. The second name for the midlife crisis is "male menopause." Hormonal imbalance triggers a psychological reaction. From here grow the legs of inappropriate behavior of men during the crisis. Characteristic: mood swings, outbursts of anger, worsening physical condition.
At 40-45 years old
- It seems to him that he is cornered. There is an acute desire to radically change the usual life.
- Goes into himself or shows atypical childishness to him earlier.
- Searches for new sensations, taking unjustified risks.
- One of the most famous symptoms of a crisis in married men is the desire to find a lover.
Unlike women who, during the age crisis of 40 years, are worried about an unstable personal life, unborn children, men evaluate their financial achievements. “Half of my life (or maybe more) has been lived, what have I achieved during this time?” Next is a comparison and valuation of the assets of their and other people:
- Whether or not there is a house (apartment), a car,
- Did you manage to create a business,
- Is there a bank account
- Where and with whom I live
- Who do I work
- Was it possible to achieve what he dreamed of in his youth.
Also, a man evaluates how satisfied his life is. And, focusing on satisfaction, he can depreciate all his achievements. “There is an expensive car, a solid bill, two apartments in the capital and a small house in Spain. So what? I never became a musician. I didn’t create a rock group, I didn’t gather stadiums ... ”
And if there are no achievements - “I live in my mother-in-law’s apartment, I’ve been working as a mechanic at the factory for the twentieth year or as a driver on the ambulance, from acquired only chronic prostatitis and a constantly sawing wife? I didn’t even get an education. But he was the best in mathematics at school and won all regional chess tournaments ... ”
That is, when evaluating achievements or their absence, a man is usually initially pessimistic. Inclined to depreciate the pros and exaggerate the cons.
1. To do radical actions, which can turn life upside down. Consider yourself as a teenager who needs to set limits so that he does not cause trouble.
2. To perceive experiences and emotions is too literal. Feelings are not facts. If you are overwhelmed by an acute desire to "break free", this does not always mean that you really need to do this. Perhaps this is just a symptom that something is going wrong.
3. Get lost in your fantasies. Otherwise, you risk starting to commit rash acts that will only prevent you from gaining the vitality that you lack.
1. Remember that you do not have to radically rebuild your life. If you are sure that much needs to be changed, do it gradually and consciously to mitigate the possible destructive effect.
2. Accept the fact that many opportunities have been missed. Think about what you missed and why. Write down on paper everything that you would like to do but have not done. In the same place describe why at that moment in life you did not dare to do so.
3. Think about what you value in life and that would not want to lose.
4. Reflect on life priorities - past and present. Think about what realistic changes you can make while staying within your current lifestyle.
Noticing the onset of a midlife crisis in a husband is not difficult. He catches up with completely different people. Affluent family men and single men also fall under the influence. The duration of this stressful period reaches ten years. And it can end in a short period - up to a year. The length of the period depends on the number of teenage complexes. From how keenly a person feels a lack of attention to himself in life. Manifestations of attention deficit are visited by people who are used to completely dissolving in work. Behind excessive preoccupation with appearance and physical form is the fear of losing universal love and pleasure from life.
How is a midlife crisis in men
Signs of a middle-aged crisis in men are manifested not only in their mood and behavior. This period is very difficult for family relationships. Many of my clients, whose husbands have experienced a crisis of 40 years (+/-), complain that they live as if on a volcano.
The story of Katie. Last year, the husband was constantly depressed, did not want to do anything, abandoned the car repair shop, which "fed" their family. Watching TV for days. I started to drink. Several times the husband left home, lived with a friend, then with his brother. When they tactfully asked him to move out, he returned home.
Katya had to get a second job to pay for the eldest son's studies at the university. The husband constantly asks her for money, and when she refuses, she begins to scandal, reproaches that she has kept her for 20 years, and now the wife must repay his debt.
“I would not be so upset if he always behaved like that. But no, it feels like a husband has been replaced. Previously, he was completely different - purposeful, with fire in his eyes, a million ideas. He had so many plans that it seemed to me that he was going to live forever. My friends and mother advise me to get a divorce and, before it’s too late, build my life anew, perhaps find another man. But when I think about it, I feel like a traitor. I really want to help my husband, get him out of this state, return him to his former - loving, caring. "
Martha's story. “At 41, my husband suddenly decided to leave the business that he had inherited from his father and which he had been developing for more than 20 years and become an artist. No arguments apply to him. He sits for hours in the workshop that he equipped in the attic of our house. Some guests always come to him, and after they leave home, different things disappear. But the husband does not even want to hear about it. He says that his guests are decent people and would never have taken anything. And I just slander them. Fortunately, for now I can do business and gradually introduce our son to it. But my husband’s behavior is driving me crazy. ”
From these two stories it is clear that when men have a midlife crisis, they commit acts unusual for them. What other symptoms can be observed during this period:
- The desire to quit work to “free up time for life,”
- There is an interest in esotericism, religion, philosophy,
- Hobbies, which he was fond of since childhood, became uninteresting,
- Mood swings, outbursts of anger, impulsivity,
- Craving for extreme sports - I want to jump with a parachute, climb Mount Everest, sink to the bottom of the Mariana Trench,
- Preferences in music, movies,
- There are thoughts about death, the meaning of life, about what will happen after death,
- I would like to return to what I was fond of in my youth - taking pictures, dancing, playing football, carving, etc.,
- I want to spend more time with young people or vice versa, stay away from them,
- There is a craving for sports, he is interested in a healthy diet,
- It takes a lot of time to health, disease prevention,
- I want to start life from scratch.
If you notice such changes in the behavior of a man, do not rush to blame him, reproach him and file for divorce. Why this happens, you already know. Try to help your loved one quickly survive this period with minimal damage to his psyche and your family.
At 45-50 years old
- A man feels a decline in vitality, his health worsens. Often there is an exacerbation of chronic diseases, new ones appear. Even with absolute health, natural changes in the body appear, reminding the man of an approaching old age. This is especially difficult to accept for those who pay special attention and trepidation to their appearance.
- It seems to the man that recently he listened to the knowledge of others, but now a change of roles is suitable. He notes that more and more they are waiting for advice and responsibility from him. It is particularly acute that youth is left behind.
- One of the most negative symptoms of the crisis: self-absorption. The man doubts that he has lived a huge part of his life correctly, is not sure of his choice, regrets many actions. Even those individuals who outwardly seem completely wealthy, successful are subject to these feelings.
"The salvation of drowning - the work of the drowning themselves"
First of all, remember - this is a temporary crisis. Gives a reason to correct mistakes from a previous life. A person in this state must maintain balance. How to survive a midlife crisis in men:
- Actively take part in the life of your family. An open expression of positive emotions and feelings towards loved ones will return as a boomerang. In response, receive a dose of love and attention, so necessary during the mid-life crisis and after it.
- Attentive attitude to colleagues and friends. Not a fake interest in the successes and lives of people. And they will answer the same. This will make you feel needed and needed by society.
- Caring for your own body. The body is aging and it requires increased attention. This will allow you to retain strength longer, will place pride and respect for the vessel of the soul in the heart.
- Business planning, daily routine. This measure organizes scattered thoughts. Add something new to your schedule. Perhaps advanced training or a hobby that I have long wanted to do. So the brain keeps in good shape.
Middle-aged crisis in men - what should a wife do?
Why do many families collapse during this period? Because both spouses are experiencing an age crisis. At the same time, each of them wants the other to be sympathetic to his condition, support morally, emotionally. That is, it turns out that everyone is fixated on himself and does not want to delve into the problems of the other.
Consultations with a family psychologist in such a situation can become, if not the only, then one of the few ways to save a family during the period of age crises of spouses. But for this they must be aware of the problem and want to solve it. And so, unfortunately, it happens infrequently.
In the situation with Katya, we managed not only to save her family, we found a way to help her reach her husband and even bring him to a joint consultation. Of course, it took some time. But Katya’s efforts and desire gave a wonderful result. Their relationship with her husband has reached a new level. Now they have a common hobby, a common business and a huge number of plans for 100 years ahead.
How can a woman help a man overcome a midlife crisis? Try following these tips.
- Do not look for the cause of his bad mood, depression, anger, coldness in yourself. Do not find out how you annoy him, why he avoids you. The husband himself does not understand this, and when you force him to understand the reasons, he gets confused and gets even more angry.
- Do not react to his attempts to manipulate you, to accusations, reproaches. In fact, this is how the husband tries to shift the responsibility for his condition and actions onto someone. At home, this is a wife, colleagues or subordinates at work. Just understand this and do not connect his personality crisis with his failure as a woman, a wife.
- Give your husband the opportunity to choose: a new job, a new hobby, new friends. If he says that he is tired of work, which gives a good income, but does not leave time for his personal life, support him. Even if it will be to the detriment of the family budget. Perhaps, having received free time, a man will find himself in something else - in his favorite business, in a new profession, in a new hobby.
- Help your husband find himself. If a man can’t find a job, he is obsessed with something and does not manage to look at his opportunities more broadly - to look for vacancies in other specialties, to learn related professions, to improve skills - your help will not be superfluous. You can help him create a resume, connect to the search for acquaintances, find courses, offer fresh ideas.
- Do not blame weakness and failure. His inflamed ego, self-esteem hiding under the baseboard, combined with an unstable psyche, will be perceived by each reproach as a stab in the chest. And even more depressed.
But, trying to pull your husband out of depression, do not sacrifice yourself. You can help him, support, but do not ignore your own interests and needs. Middle-aged men are essentially more selfish than young men. But in times of crisis, their selfishness grows like mold in a damp basement. Remember: your "I" should not dissolve into "We" or "He."
“A gray hair in a beard, a demon in a rib” or how to save a family during a man’s age crisis
From my practice, I can cite dozens of stories about how at 35, 40, 45 years old men abandoned their wives and married young girls. And how many men during the midlife crisis appeared lovers 10-20 years younger. Why is this happening and how to protect your family from this love obsession with her husband?
Why middle-aged men marry young
This phenomenon has two reasons: a decrease in reproductive function and the ability to create a new family.
After 30 years, the ability of men to reproduce gradually decreases. Yes, physiologically, they are able to do this to a very old age, but with age they have less and less chances to become a father. This is due to a decrease in testosterone, which is responsible for the "quality" of sperm. They become less mobile, and the "individuals" that are able to fertilize the egg are becoming smaller.
At the same time, the instinct of reproduction is one of the main ones in humans. He begins to throw signals into the subconscious mind: “Anxiety!”, “We have little time!”, “Hurry up!”, “Propagate while there is something!”. Here comes the thought that at 40, a man wants children, as in the story of Alexei.
What does a man do? He looks at his wife, who is about the same age, and doubts whether she will be able to get pregnant, whether she can bear and give birth to a child? All the same, years, health is not what it was in 20-25 years. What if something goes wrong? And the conclusion suggests itself: "No, a younger woman is needed." Moreover, all this dialogue takes place in the subconscious of a man. Perhaps he does not even suspect him. And here the instinct of reproduction and the internal objective appraiser, having conferred, issue to the consciousness the command “Looking for a young female”. Everything, the process is running.
If a man is successful, financially secure, he understands that he not only wants, but can create a new family with his young wife. He has something to offer her. He is still full of energy, and with the advent of a young girl, enthusiasm has been awakening for the past few years, unrealized dreams of youth are recalled.
If coldness in relations with a wife joins a midlife crisis of 30, 40 years old - they have no common interests, communication has become formal, sex is boring, the idea of starting life anew becomes obsessive. And at some point, more precisely, at the first convenient opportunity, he decides to take this step.
How to protect a family from destruction
Here really a lot depends on the wife. At 40, 45 years, units of women are able to compete with young girls in terms of physical sexual attractiveness. But they can give them a head start as a sexual relationship. And the wives of men experiencing an age crisis need to use this.
Also try not to let boredom into your relationship. Look for common hobbies with your husband. Strive for trust.
Appearance is far from the last factor. Maintaining the beauty of the body at 40-45 years is much more difficult than at 20, 25 and even 30 years. But you need to do this. Do not disdain the new methods of rejuvenation, but be selective and act without fanaticism.
Watch your health and your psychological state - this is extremely important. Even 20 years of living together and a pound of salt that you have eaten over the years with your husband will not be an argument for him to console his constantly sick and depressing wife until the end of his life. It is easier for him to find a young, healthy, cheerful girl and start over again with her.
A middle-aged crisis in a man is a test for both spouses. If they manage to go through it, while maintaining relationships and feelings, they have a great chance to meet old age together and remain a family until the last breath. Agree, this is a worthy reward for such trials. And it is worth it to use not only its capabilities, but also to ask for help from those who can provide it.
If you are at a crossroads now - getting divorced or fighting for a family, or looking for a way to maintain a relationship with a man who is experiencing an age crisis, sign up for a consultation with me. I am sure that together we will figure out how to alleviate his condition and make your union even stronger.
In a word
Most likely, the couple is married for a long time. The wife studied in detail the second half. There come moments when the husband reproaches himself for being useless, gives arguments for bankruptcy. During this period, recall his achievements. Tell how proud you are of it, give specific facts. Tell him how he is needed, how the children are bored, when he is at work, how you love him. For each attack on his worthlessness, have a phrase in stock to fend off the negative. A man must be confident that they love him and wait at home. That he is needed and important for the family.
The proven fact that physical employment does not allow distractions for moral crises. Sports, household chores and other body movements distract from thoughts about life and self-digging. Surprise surprises for a man are positively influenced; remember what he dreamed about. Take a trip abroad or go fishing. Visit a concert of your favorite band or an interesting performance. Take your husband something pleasant and interesting.
A variant of physical employment is occupational therapy. It will not allow you to be distracted by bad thoughts, painted by the clock on a day. Ask him to take a walk with the children, help them do their homework. Update together the wallpaper in the apartment, go to the cottage and there, look after the site. Female fantasy is endless. Find a spouse at home, so he is under supervision and he will not have time for melancholy and teenage pranks. A visit to the pool and gym is an option on how to survive a midlife crisis in men. Give him a gift - a subscription to a sports club. This way you will kill two birds with one stone: your husband a nice gift and an occupation for him for several hours a day.
How to survive a mid-life crisis in men for his woman is a complex question. Disapproving remarks are being sent to her. Quarrels and mutual reproaches ruin the family idyll. A man who, in previous years, had a sexual life with a partner, makes claims. He says that she has become cold, he needs initiative in bed. With the advent of this stage in life, a woman needs to pull herself together. Do not be offended by your spouse. He is ruled by a psychological crisis. A wise wife will heed the new requirements of the spouse and try to meet them. This does not mean that you need to rush into the embrasure and fulfill all its requirements. Seek compromise, add age-appropriate charm. Having lived with your spouse for years, you know his habits and desires like no other.
Put yourself in order. Renewal of the wardrobe, hair coloring and cosmetic procedures work wonders. A man will remember that girl in whom he was in love with his youth and whom he married. Professional skin care, makeup and well-groomed hair are an effective weapon in the fight against age-related changes. In a middle-aged crisis in men, the years that have passed next to their spouse will be remembered with joy, if you do not remind him of their number.
The most difficult element in overcoming the crisis. During this period, a man needs understanding, love and affection. Mutual reproaches and insults will harm the process of overcoming the crisis. Make him believe in himself, raise his self-esteem. The husband in this period is not restrained in expressions, try not to take it to heart.
The state of crisis is not treated medically. The main cure is lasting patience. The mentality of Russian men does not support the idea of visiting a psychologist. Therefore, a loving spouse becomes a doctor for them.
The recommendations of the experts are as follows:
- Refuse bad habits and drink alcohol. Alcohol exacerbates the crisis process. Without these substances, the body will renew itself and the man will feel a taste for life.
- A change of scenery. Traveling abroad, visiting sanatoriums or a trip to another city. This will breathe new strength into a man.
- Doing sports. During exercise, the psycho-emotional state is restored. Bad thoughts go away with excess weight. Even through power, even a little.
- Accept yourself. Take aging with dignity. In order not to cause scandals in the queue in the store and public transport. Enjoy wisdom, experience and peace of mind.
- Openness. Communicate more often, especially with loved ones. Accept them for who they are. The same applies to strangers. Do not try to remake others. Most of them are already held adults.
- Create a plan for the next five years, year, month, week. Describe the primary and secondary goals. Follow your self development plan and thoughts will come to order.
- Do not forget to dream. Remember childhood fantasies. Try to bring a couple of them to life. Come up with new desires. Their implementation will fill with vital energy.
Manifestations of the crisis in women
This psychological phenomenon affects not only men. Women from 30 to 45 years old are at risk. Symptoms of a midlife crisis in women are similar to those in men. The difference is that men do not put personal relationships as the meaning of life. Motivate individual success and relevance.
Women despair, seeing age-related changes in appearance, cease to please themselves. Become jealous, move away from friendly companies. Uncertainty and anxiety now accompany them.
The middle-aged crisis in the bulk of women becomes the starting point for a happy life. Careerists remember family, housewives, on the contrary, open a business.
Psychologists recommend finding an activity for self-realization. Analyze your own life. Is the problem contrived? After 30 years, women, as a rule, have something to be proud of.
Chat with interesting people. Take care of yourself, visit a beautician, go in for sports. Praise yourself more often for success, even for small ones. Do not forget the family and spouse.
Not every person has the courage to accept the aging process that has begun. With age, you got the right to build life the way you want. Not reporting to anyone and not pleasing to anyone. There is no time to postpone changes in life. A clear knowledge of your desires and a drawn up plan will provide an incentive for the implementation of the plan. Praise yourself, praise others, but do not flatter. Help yourself and loved ones. In a crisis, a person is embarrassed to ask for help. Do not be afraid to seem strange on the way to a dream.
In an emergency, do not be shy to contact a psychologist. Do not ruin your own family in a rush, be patient and work on yourself. The midlife crisis is the beginning of a new phase in life. And the future of a person and his family depends on how it will be completed. Accept age-related changes with dignity, keep yourself more confident. Do not try to get away from yourself and hide. You will be protected from depression. Fill every day with happy events and interesting adventures. Love yourself and the world around, and he will reciprocate.
So what are the causes of the midlife crisis? Even the designation itself indicates the negative aspects of the phenomenon, but if you look at it from a different point of view, you can see some positive points: a review of your life principles. Sometimes a person really needs to change something to make things better. Each person has his own reasons for immersing himself in this state.
If we talk directly about the crisis in men, then we can highlight some general aspects:
- Old goals cease to be interesting and lose their original meaning, but new ones have not yet been outlined.
- From the sphere of activity there is no former satisfaction.
- There is no desired self-realization, a certain limit has been reached in a career, further growth in the profession is problematic.
- Marital life is not satisfying, it seems a mistake.
- Unfulfilled plans are recalled, a suspicion begins to arise that a wrong choice was made at a certain period of time.
- Changes of a physiological nature make themselves felt, and the functional disorders of libido are especially frustrating.
- A growing sensation of the transience of life, inevitable old age. If before the pension seemed to be something far away, now now there are only a few years left, which seriously depresses. Depression sets in, unpleasant thoughts constantly soar in thoughts.
How a man to survive age-related crises
A middle-aged crisis in men can be quite difficult, and when faced with it, it is better to immediately take certain measures, rather than wait for the situation to form by itself.
So what to do:
Come to the realization that the crisis does not last forever, you need to survive it, put your thoughts in order.
Treat yourself as a teenager who needs restrictions so that he does not have additional problems.
Do not go deeper into meaningless fantasies that lead to rash steps and interfering with gaining the strength necessary to overcome the problem.
Do not take your feelings too literally. You feel that you want to “drop everything and run away” - this is not the most reasonable decision. Surely, your difficulties can be overcome not in such a radical way.
In order for life to change, it is not at all necessary to fuss and make sudden movements. Move towards change slowly but surely, without destroying along the way what was built before with a lot of work.
Recognize that many opportunities have been missed and accept this. Analyze why you did not do what you wanted. List the options on paper. Think about what else you can do, and write on paper how this can be achieved.
Think about what priorities you have built before and which ones you would like to focus on now. Reflect on what changes you can come to without destroying your usual life completely.
Think about the things that you value in your life and that you would not want to lose. Remember these things, stick to them.
How to help a person (husband, friend) overcome a midlife crisis
Want to help a loved one overcome a midlife crisis? First of all, be patient. Do not require him to immediately contact a psychologist. Just be near, do not take sharply the manifestations of his psychological state.
What can you do to help your husband:
- Try to make family life more diverse.. Invite him to go to a concert, to a new restaurant, to attractions, to the pool. Do some sport together, attend some courses. Show him that you can live brightly not only in your youth.
- Talk to your husband more often. An open and friendly conversation will allow a man to share his feelings, to talk about moments that disturb him. Show him that there are many aspects that he can be proud of. He certainly has strengths - remind him of them.
- It’s not easy for you now either, but if you want to help a loved one, try not to run away from problems and not blame her husband for strange behavior. In this case, tears, indifference or reproaches are a direct road to divorce. Provide him with psychological support, and subsequently your participation will be appreciated.
- No matter how hard the husband experiences psychologically, the sexual side is no less important for him. Show your spouse who is in acute mid-life crisis that you want to be attractive and sexy to him.
Accept your life
Want something new? This is impossible without accepting an existing one. Recognize that at some point you made mistakes, but there are many good things in your life. Analyze what qualities prevent you from achieving the desired goals. Think about what you could achieve in the future, and how your experience can help.
Take time for your favorite things.
Find your favorite hobby and give it time. It seems that even a little activity takes all the strength, but doing your favorite thing, you will feel less tired. Perhaps in your youth you dreamed of devoting yourself to some business, but now you think that time is lost. Reconsider beliefs - perhaps you can express yourself differently in your chosen field. Remember the people you admire, think about the hobbies that inspire them. Perhaps such hobbies will suit you?
Be mindful of the emotional state. A crisis in men can lead to burnout. Develop resistance to stress, reject pessimistic reasoning. Recognize that after passing a certain period of life, you have acquired the necessary wisdom and experience - this is valuable luggage for building the future.
It is characteristic of any psychological crisis. The logical manifestation of discontent and frustration of a man who feels like a failure. Depression occurs in a mild stage, manifesting itself only at peak times, and in a severe stage. In the second case, a person is completely abstracted from the outside world, immersed in gloomy thoughts. More often this happens to men who experience regular mood swings. If depression is really a stage of crisis in a man, and not a manifestation of any disease, then the next one will follow.
Destructive emotion causing rejection of others. Pulling himself together, a person can use anger for good - it will become a powerful mechanism for achieving a goal, overcoming barriers and fears, and defending one’s own borders. Having correctly assessed the current stage, a man gains strength for transformation - this is a positive moment.
A negative point in the destructive action aimed at close people. Often, it is they who are assigned the role of “culprits” in the troubles of a person in crisis. Often, he declares that if not for them, life would have been different. Additional manifestations of the stage: nervous breakdowns, squandering (a person buys all kinds of nonsense, trying to prove that he can allow it), showing interest in drinking, provoking loved ones to conflicts.
A person notices that he wants to be in solitude. Everyone annoys him - even those with whom he had a good time before. If a man is married, then the spouse will be the first to feel the manifestations of the stage, expressed in dissatisfaction with her society, irritability when meeting or talking. The man declares that he wants to be alone, and his caring or offended wife does not care much.
The main signs of the stage:
- Avoidance of meetings with friends and relatives.
- Laconicism. Attempts to start a conversation are reluctant, sometimes annoyed, closed.
- Pessimistic thoughts.
- Passion for alcoholic beverages, even if I had previously felt indifference to them.
- Constant self-flagellation, self-pity, search for the meaning of life.
- Terminal stage
An important stage in the formation of a new way of thinking men. Any psychological crisis does not pass without a trace, and “as it was” will no longer be. From this state, it is important to draw the right conclusions and find the right values. The former personality remains in the past - the man understands that he has undergone a significant transformation. In the thermal stage, the midlife crisis is moving into a new stage of development. Having overcome the previous stages, the man rethinks life and plans for the future, almost nothing remains of the previous personality.
Characteristic manifestations of the stage:
A person wants to try “something new” and goes on previously atypical actions. Things can be limited to changing hobbies, but radical changes also happen: a new marriage, a change in the circle of friends, another job, moving.
He in every possible way demonstrates that he is ready for radical changes, broadcasting this with his appearance and statements.
He ceases to infringe on himself, allowing much of what he previously considered unacceptable.
Overly attentive to appearance and health. He goes to the gym, visits salons, adheres to a special nutrition system.
The final stage. The main difference between a strong and mature personality from an immature one is that it takes responsibility for the current life and current state. He also understands that it is he who decides how to further build fate. He ceases to regret missed chances and concentrates on opportunities that can translate into reality. Having entered the stage of acceptance, a person resigns himself to everything that has happened, and fixes his eyes on the future.
Other stage manifestations:
- A man behaves calmer, more confident.
- Changes in mood occur less and less, emotions come back to normal.
- He becomes more tolerant of issues that previously provoked protest and acute rejection in him.
- He understands that he behaved unjustly towards loved ones, feels guilty before them, and makes attempts to make amends for it.
- Periodically briefly returns to the previous stages (anger, depression), but quickly takes himself in hand.
Gradually, the manifestation of the previous stages become less noticeable, subsequently they completely disappear.